Day 5

Honey I miss you. Baby where are you right now? Are you with your Mom, my aunt, your aunt, Snake, Taser? Eddie? Bob? Jesus? Are there Saints where you are? Have you finished your life review, and how was it? Better than you thought eh. We had a good love with each other. We really did. We fought lots too and were both equally pains in the others arse, but I loved you so much baby. You look so good in all these pictures of you, especially the more recent ones. You were always charismatic, outgoing, calm, hanging out, looking sharp, acting cool. You were golden. You were my everything for 20 years. We went a lot of places together, New York, Las Vegas, Mexico, California, Osoyoos, Hana, Hayden, Coeur Dalene, Edmonton. We had fun at Silverwood, Disney Land, Edmonton Mall... We went zip lining, tubing, go carting, sledding, skiing, frisbee, softball, poker, UFC, concerts, kids concerts... The joy seems all I am left with, the fights really so insignificant. The challenge of staying together was met, even through arguments about ideologies and covid vaccines. It wasn't easy to stay together, but we always did. Through the thick of life and the thin of death. I am jealous, you truly know it all now. You were always so intelligent too, one of your most attractive qualities. Never mind your sexy bike courier legs. I always called us 2 peas in a pod. Both virgos, 10 years apart. You a sports lover, me, an artsy woo lover. Somehow we compliment eachother. 20 years. A third of your life I knew you, lived with you for 19 but joined at the hip from the start. Remember how your friends would notice how we were always snuggled together when they came over at the Kitchener place? Then we moved to Princess and had that funky old poker table in the living room? Bears wandering by... Eddie catching young duck to put in the bowl for Gusto, who peed on your shit so we rehomed. We then got pregnant with Hendrix, and moved into 265 Warrick St, Coquitlam. Then, when kids were 5 and 3, we moved to Nelson, Robertson Ave. Now, I need to hold onto this house. It seems the universe is telling me this, as I repeat the life story of my Grandma. Not the same story, but one where you lose your husband, and live in the same house for as long as possible. We shall see what life brings. For now at least this next year, we will baste in the memories that flood this good house. A happy family house. I always thought that about this house, it has good family vibes. The last family moved but not for the reason of divorce. That was important for some reason. We made it snookums, and now you're in a better place. I expect some messages and dreams, Shacker. You better come my way again and again. You owe me, seeing as you have left me "alone" for the rest of my days. I love you.