Day 22

Baby you'd be proud of all the things I've accomplished. All the people I've connected with. 

Picked up some pheromone thing for Dragon today and also bought 2 new filters for the dishwasher. Wallpaper arrived today for the front hall, and an eagle light, for stairs, 2 fire LED bulbs for the front room. You know how I hate those white lights. I am thinking of putting all the white light bulbs in a box with free on it. Rid this house of everything that reminds me of my work and aging. After all the fluorescent lighting I've worked under, it amazes me anyone would choose to have it at home too. 

I still have a lot to do and the manic burnout paralysis is still around. I am hounded by my own thoughts at all times. It's hard to sleep. No point in drifting through and through the self pity. Such dregs, enough, enough. I don't know whether to feel lucky or unlucky, and that seems sacrilegious in a way. 

I miss you dearly. I need more signs from you baby. What you gonna do, drop a pea or 2? Can a crow drop a Cheesy Poof? Will you please speak to me in a dream and hold me? I love you.